Defragging... Tears of mourning

I had to walk out of an antique store this last week in tears of mourning.

A dear friend of mine and I were headed to the tulip fields (I love seeing that miracle each year!) and we decided to stop at an antique store on the way. I was browsing through, not tempted in any way to purchase something since we have steadily been in  "defrag" mode (paring down) our possessions as we prepare to leave on the mission field.

Then I saw some items which reminded me of some of my favorites I had meant to give away to certain people - but they were taken to heaven-only-knows-where, instead (accidentally), by someone who thought they weren't worth anything & were trying to help out & get rid of "junk".....  Their hearts were right, they were trying to help, just not in the way I was expecting.

So, being reminded of my "good intentions" set me off in tears & I had a mild case of regret.

This isn't easy - getting rid of items we had been enjoying collecting for over 30 years - it's like telling your friends you don't need them anymore in some cases.  Thankfully, God steps in and reminds us to "do away with the things that so easily encumber you and run the race to win".  God is calling us to leave our precious families and friends for a number of years while we go serve Him overseas... yes, this also includes our stuff. Our goal is only to store enough to fit in an old-fashioned phone booth out of ALL our former possessions.

It's tougher than you can imagine, and brings tears at unexpected moments.  Just when most people our age are starting to plan for saving up to go somewhere or re-do something. Just when many are getting serious of planning retirements, weddings of children, seeing grandchildren enter the world & grow up, helping out their parents.....  and we are leaving it all for some place, some people basically unknown to us who don't care who we are or who we are following. We have no idea what we are getting into, but God does. We have no idea where we will live or who our neighbors will be, but God does. We don't know if there will ever be a comfortable chair that will fit like our favorite, but God does. We don't know if there will be friends we can really confide in, but God does.

I feel as though we are abandoning our children at times, just when they are flying out on their own - will they be all right? God knows - He TRULY does! He knows how many hairs are on your head and mine. That is how I can let go.... and let God have my life.  He knows.